I am Masters slave

Baywanderer’s submissive slaves journey to becoming free in my chains

Being Masters slave

Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life.

Serving my Master. This is the number one thing that brings me joy and happiness. When I actually get to see and serve him there is no better feeling. When I’m not with him I think about him and how I can serve better to get more time with him.

“No” and goals

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

VintageWhore 46f uncollared slave of @baywanderer

I used to not say yes to anything that took me from my goals , but was missing out on so much. I was always stern in my convictions and goals. I just kept my eye on the prize.

Well guess what, that gets lonely

I never wanted to close my mind and think there was only one way. I knew I needed to say YES a lot more.

I finally became a “yes” person

Maybe someone had a route that made a lot more sense than my route and I was only seeing a certain side of things. I tried opening up as much as possible (lets be honest, it’s hard sometimes) to always be ear hustling and listening to other paths. Maybe the road less taken was a better one, then maybe again it might not be.

Never stop saying yes to listening & to learning . The path You aways said onto could have been the path You we’re supposed to be on all along.


My secret skill or ability I wish I had…..

What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?

VintageWhore 46f uncollared slave of @baywanderer

The secret ability I wish I had would be to read people’s minds.

I find this to be very useful in your personal & professional lives.

In You personal life if You have kids are they telling the truth, what’s really going on in their heads and lives. No secrets. Your partner weathered married or single You know what they’re thinking they won’t say. Or is this new guy the one, what does he think about me. Am I just another fuck toy or is he being sincere with his words and actions. Are there lies in any of these things.

In Your professional life You would always know motives, because unfortunately at every job it seems there is the one who sabotages people. It can happen if someone thinks you’re coming for them or something they’re after. If you’re in sales or are a buyer, You now have the upper had in knowing the bottom lines both ways. If you’re a CEO You know who’s loyal and not by what they are thinking while in a meeting or call.

In every aspect of your life this would come in handy.

Me being a slave to my Master, it would really come in handy when he’s not around. What he’s thinking, how he’s thinking, is he thinking about You. Being 24/7 and not living together and your Master is Poly but I am not this would be especially helpful in knowing if You can fully trust your masters word as You should.


What do you wish you could do more every day?

VintageWhore 46f uncollared slave of @baywanderer

What I wish I could do more of everyday is see my Master. I don’t get to see him often and even less if he is traveling so that is my answer. We are in a TPE dynamic, however we are not living together. We also do not see each other everyday, but am still devoted and loyal to him. Why? Because he has chosen me as his slave.

When a sub has a medical scare, do You keep going or slow down in your service?

VintageWhore 46f uncollared and under appreciated slave of Baywanderer

What does your Master/Dom do? Are they there by your side? Are You expected to just carry on being of service like nothing is happening? Would your Master check on You more than normal? Same? Not at all? Maybe ignores You and leaves You be and not ask about how the de’s appt went?  Does your Master want to know every last little detail? After all You are his property, his body. 
Does your Master give You space and ignored your texts? I’m always curious how this is handled in different dynamics.

Is this necessary in your dynamic? More for sub than Dom?

A slave’s New Year’s resolution

VintageWhore 46f un-collared slave of Baywanderer

New Year’s Resolutions are supposed to be all about self improvement. These are my self improvement as well as improvements to make my Master proud of his slave.

No matter how many slaves Master has, it’s not easy, it’s hard somedays but he is who i want, who I’ve always wanted. For the past 7 1/2 years I’ve laughed with him and cried for him. i Hope & pray one day there will finally be me in Masters life and the rest just become noise. i resolve i will never have another Master.

  • Resolve to re-commitment to myMaster/ Owner
  • Resolve to Be happier in life
  • Resolve to become a better slave
  • Resolve to obey and watch my mouth
  • Resolve to become collared as a slave
  • Resolve for more kink, bondage, slave training, and punishment
  • Resolve to dive deeper into cock addiction. Taking care of Masters cock at any time with my mouth or holes whichever my Master orders.
  • Resolve to learn my lessons
  • Resolve to push myself harder as a slave
  • Resolve to try something new every month
  • Resolve to learn how to better communicate with my Master
  • Resolve to make a slave contract
  • Resolve a to learn the deepest needs of my Master

A lonely New Year’s

VintageWhore 46f uncollared & lonely slave of Baywanderer

As i sit alone on NYE watching the countdowns & the ball dropping in each time zone it just gets harder. i can feel my face getting warm, feel the trembling, feel as my eyes start filling with tears. Damnit, i told myself not tonight. Be strong slave, you’re better then this. i can’t stop them, as the the damn has just busted, the tears have flooded my eyes and quickly spilled out and are pouring down my cheeks. It is hard to focus on the tv and the new year. I’m so lonely

i look at the clock FUCK, it’s only 9:17 and this is only the first time zone and I’ve got to keep it together, but i can’t keep it together. I still have 3 more zone to go and am being ignored on another holiday by my Master. You have to try.

Again, another time zone down and i feel even more alone. Another time zone down and celebrations are being had. Deep down and the emotions are burning and inside my heart is breaking. At last it’s my time zone, 1 minute countdown and the tears come rushing full force and won’t stop, i can’t even control them or the wailing sounds coming from my mouth, the shivers coming from my body. i can do nothing but wrap my blanket tighter and slip deeper under my covers. The storm outside has calmed down and left the sky’s open to be lit up by the many illegal fireworks that my neighbors have lit off. Lighting up the skies with beautiful colors

I decided to write out my resolutions to not only get them on pen and paper(so to speak) for my Master, and two they need to be done. Writing them out everything that was in my resolutions were geared to my Master. Even as i am alone, my Master is with someone other than me, i always put my Master first.

Someday I will become just as important in Master’s life.

Today awaking up I’m am glad i did not post my resolutions. I needed to fix the emotional ones and make attainable and realistically possible. Some of them are going to seem impossible some days, but that is the life of a slave. Some days seem impossible. But we train to be better.

I’m still here waiting

VintageWhore 46f uncollared slave of Baywanderer

Fuck Master, I’m making myself so wet and so horny right now just thinking about You.

Master, can we have one of those times again? I aways loved waiting for You to come into my house as i was on my knees or nude in the bed or in whatever position You instructed for me to be in when You arrived.
It was always super hot and always made me super wet before You even got to my house. You would have me dripping before I even saw You.

At time you would walk in and You sat in the chair and had me straddle You or kneel in between your legs just to give You and your yummy cock kisses. I wasn’t allowed my treat util You said gave permission, but could give your cock all the kisses and licks I wanted. That is until You wanted to fuck my mouth. Then when You would stand up and I was already kneeling in the perfect position and at the perfect height for You to fuck my throat. I loved when You would wind my hair around your hands and used my hair as sort of handle bars to direct the flow of your cock into my mouth. You would use it to go up and down on your cock or hold me down on your cock to take You as deep as You could make yourself go down my throat. I would learn to take all of You was the goal in the beginning.

Sometimes You bent me over the side of the couch or moved us into the bedroom. You would bend me over the footboard of the bed by my hair. Sometimes it was putting me on the bed. You would lay me down on my stomach and ever so gently force your cock into my ass sometimes with lube and sometimes without. As You got deeper and deeper with every thrust until You we’re fully submerged exactly where You wanted to be, in the ass You owned literally and figuratively. You would be smacking my ass to leave your marks using my hair as your reins to pull me in as You slammed back deep inside of me. With every thrust inching me closer to cumming for You Master. You could see and hear how wet she would get for my Master.

Fuck I miss You Master. I miss waking up the next day to find new love marks You had left all over my body. When You would bound my breasts nice and tight to turn beautiful shades of red then purple. You would actually play with “the twins”. You would Give ‘em kisses and suck on em to sometimes bite them. When You would slap them around knowing how wet I would get. You could get me off playing with my breasts. Instructing me to fuck your fingers as You took more of them deeper inside of me. Commanding me again to fuck your fingers hard and deep, because I was your good girl. I miss that Master. The one who would use toys along with You and double stuffing my pussy which made her dripping with love juice. The things we would be adventurous about. The suction cups on the breasts and/or pussy. The electricity nipple clamps or putting the Electra pads on the insides of my thighs by my pussy opening.

When You would tie me down on the bed by the hands and/or feet. Have me use my spider gag or the metal ring gag and fuck my mouth some more. Knowing how much I love your cock in my mouth.

Fuck Master, I’m making myself so wet and so horny right now just thinking about You. The things we used to do. How excited I would get when I bought a new toy for us or contrapment for us to just explore each other, each others bodies.

You used to have me suck one of my dildos every night for 5-10 mins just to practice with my gag reflexes. This was to learn to take you all the ways without gagging. When You demanded a picture of my panties every morning and my breasts in the afternoons.

You had me emerged in excitement and I , well I was just mesmerized and in love by You and with You. There was not anything I wouldn’t have done to be with You on a full time basis. To be in in your life as You were always and still are my everything. I was so scared and madly in love with You.

I have not lost my excitement for You and what Incan do to and for You. I have not lost my excitement to be able to serve You. What I have lost is a Master who was just as excited to have a slave that wanted to be present.

Master, I’m still here waiting for my time again. Waiting for You to allow me time to be excited for You again. I’m just waiting for you. However and whenever I’m here waiting.

Renewing my slavery

VintageWhore 46f slave of Baywanderer

Why I want to be a slave for You my Master

I have never felt the happiness, feeling of belonging, and feeling of being where I was meant to be, until I found in it in the most unlikely place. At dinner with You.

Ive had to do a lot, a lot, a lot of soul and self searching which hasn’t been simple or easy to do and I’m sure at times it shows. What i have discovered I have also been fight for a long time.
I am driven by praise and punishment!
When that was taken away, my life would begin to crumble before my eyes. I took me some years to realize this part of the reasoning deep down I was searching for when joining Fet.

I had dated 3 amazing guys in my life, but none of them had ever given me that one thing that was missing. I didn’t know what it was because our relationships were the envy of our friends. They lasted years and i was happy, but missing something.

When my dad was alive it was there. After my dad passed I was lost. We were so close and had been all my life, but it was even as an adult my dad was not afraid to praise me or the opposite show his disappointment or disapproval when I was fucking up. Even as an adult. Granted I was an adult and my dad never tried to change me or make me be or do something that wasn’t wanted, he would let me know when I was doing less than my potential.

When I made major life decisions in my life I went to my dad first before my boyfriend, because there was no motive other than wanting the fullest potential for his daughter. his opinions & advice was just that, they were not the decision but I knew his best interest was me.

When my dad passed I was with someone I dated for 6 years and wasn’t happy and hadn’t been happy in the relationship from almost the beginning. He was a great man, don’t get me wrong and on the outside we were a solid couple but on my inside i was dying. Dying for some direction or something I wasn’t sure of but I knew I needed. We were together 4 years too long, but that worked in my favor. Sexually we were not compatible at all and that was our problem. He was not a dominate person in our relationship or in life. He would not choke me or smack my ass or anything other than mission vanilla sex.

This is where it all started and we eventually went to an open relationship. I met a man who was married and was struggling with his relationship as well. This is where I discovered a lot of new kinks. Bondage, restraints, pain, pleasing, & obeying and this was such a fulfilling pleasure for me. It somehow made me feel empowered even though I was giving up this power. We helped each other see what it was we were missing in our own relationships, in our own lives. While he and I never dated beyond the discovering of ourselves, I owe a lot to him for helping me see part of what i never knew I was missing.

I ended things with my boyfriend after 6 years. Everyone questioned what I was doing and he’s such a good guy, you’re perfect together, everyone loves him. Or I was just to emotional from my dads passing and counseling would help. But I knew now that there was something missing, i just had to find the rest. I was single for a long time after that because I was in self discovery and didn’t want to limit that again by jumping into a relationship. I didn’t date anyone for 2 years. I had my little friend when I needed sex, but didn’t want a relationship.

I started dating and it was someone I net on a regular dating website that while he was no Master by any means, but there were rules and protocols and I found this oddly refreshing.
It was around or maybe not long afterwards I found Fet. Joined groups and met other like minded people. Still not knowing a lot i didn’t date from there. I was scared and heard the “be careful”, “fake doms” take your time and all of the other stuff. I did talk to me. That were crazy (to me at least) or fake doms, ones that insisted upon first meeting to submit sexually and try were my Dom so I had to obey. I wasn’t ready or going to do that. It didn’t feel safe to me.

I finally met someone who opened my eyes all of the way of what he expected, wanted and needed in a sub. While we didn’t work out it was my epiphany so to speak of what I was missing. While i met some others they just didn’t capture or captivate me.

That is until I met You.

I didn’t know what it was and I couldn’t pinpoint one thing that made me feel weird in a good way. Got every inch of my being excited and aroused. In our first meeting. I had never felt a wanting of that praise and punishment (as I discovered it to be) before and it was a feeling I couldn’t understand why. As we spent more and more time together there was a seed planted in me that was never able to blossom and with You this unknown thing inside of me was blossoming.

The more time we spent together the deeper it was going. When You chose me, I’d never had a feeling of belonging in a relationship like i had with You. I wanted more and more of You. I wanted to drink your juice.
When the slave conversation came into play i was dead set against it. I wasn’t a door mat, I had worked hard to become this strong independent woman who carried herself with respect and dignity. I would never give up myself for another.
You encouraged me to explore the true meaning of it. You encouraged me to seek out advice and learn and You wanted to teach me. You wanted to mold me and make me yours. I eventually came around to the idea of being absolute. All of it was so exciting and fulfilling.

Then there were down times when I didn’t get much from You. You were cancelling on me, but we still talked. But there wasn’t the guidance the care in teaching and we were seeing each other so few and far in between everything being taught was going by the wayside because I wasn’t using these things very often. So when we did see each other it was more excitement then if service. Then You would come back into it again being that leader and You would show up at my house to use what was your property and fuck every single one of my holes. This left me wanting because You always left. Never to stay the night or have me over. We were always limited to hours.

Here I was finally discovering and blossoming with new discoveries of something that was also buried inside of me, but seeing the growth stop and it wasn’t getting bigger. I thought it has to be another woman and while You didn’t stop conversing with other women, i was solid in your word to me. Then came another one of those what happened to Master time, then my flip out and depression happened. When it hit it hit hard and You we’re so hard to get ahold of or see it made it even worse. All I could think about was You disappearing and me wanting to go kill the man who had molested me when I was a kid and how dare he try and contact me as an adult.

All of these things I buried 30 years before that came like a flash flood and took over. I didn’t have You because You were so busy for any time for me it was difficult. I was dealing with all of these new feelings and emotions I’ve never had to deal with. Feeling like i was losing You and myself.

Then there was the talk You had with me about since I couldn’t please and fulfill my duties as your slave someone else should be allowed to serve and please MY Master
This absolutely and utterly devastated & crushed me. My world was spinning out of control and the one person that would help me rein parts of it into normalcy wanted to jump ship so someone else could please him. I had asked You if You would come to a counseling session so You could see and understand where I was at and how our dynamic was actually a good thing for me at the time.

That was the start of 18 months of not seeing You. Of missing something in my life again, but this time I knew what it was it was You. Nothing I said or did was getting that across. You were talking to others is what I knew. Then the pandemic and even less from You and then gene. Then that was the end of You. While I felt like already moved on from me I made a mistake. One that would be the biggest of my life, one that almost cost me my life and one that cost me You.

For whatever reason You did reach out to me to see how I was and also to rub in my face your trip with your new slave. Then the picture of the peacock You had seen in Cancun and our birthdays and You called me. That opened up our communication after months of silence and suffering. We met and it was our first date feeling all over again.

Feeling that seed come alive again inside of me. To finally about a month later You becoming my Master again and that tree that stopped growing was getting a growth spurt. This time it was stronger it needed a little more and it wanted to bust out and show the world what I really was and was always meant to be and that was your slave.

Here we are a year after and there have been struggles and the off and on from You again here and there. The cancellations, the other things that made me question, not serving You but if You wanted me to serve You completely.
More than ever I needed/need that Praise and punishment.

Today I kneel before You solidifying my service to You.

Knowing it’s not going to be easy, but how far I have come in this past year with us and within myself. I don’t want to feel as if I’m only serving You once in a great while. I am seeking from You to be your slave for a full 24/7 Total Power Exchange. I need the goals You have for your slave, as well as the contract and rules that I would need to sign. I realized this is the life for me.

I have complete motivation to keep my Master happy. I need control and domination & the praise and punishment in my life and it is the most rewarding thing I could ever get. I could not be happier anywhere else. Every time I breathe, eat, sleep, everything I do and say is for you.
My entire life, my entire being is yours and I would not have it any other way. Absolute

Ideally, what i need to serve you to the best ability is clear direction, firm goals, consistent rules, unambiguous orders.

You are the Master i want/need to serve because you have a great presence of mind, intelligence, self-control, and self-understanding You provide that kind of environment.

Master you are my wet dream. You can offer an environment of clear direction, firm discipline, and opportunities for challenging and satisfying service.

We/we deserves at least a second chance to fully let that trees fruit be enjoyed by both of us.

I am giving what I am asking for.
Meaning, You have me absolute without reserves, You just have to give your capable all for us to eat the fruits. Give me your Brandi 100%. That does not mean all of your time and energy, but that means utilizing our time 100%

Ignoring a slave as a Punishment

VintageWhore 46f slave abandoned by Baywanderer

Imagine for a minute that a child has taken a cup of milk, and intentionally upended it on the carpet in front of his parent. Which of the following is most likely to correct the behavior from happening again in the future? 

A. Immediately applying discipline both verbal and consequencial. 

B. Walking away and ignoring the child. 

B is what a Master is doing EVERY TIME they step back or remove themselves in reaction to a slave breaking a rule, or misbehaving. How does one think they are correcting behavior by doing nothing?

This is the reason it makes no sense to punish someone by ignoring them. Beyond this reason, much has already been said about how damaging it is to the slave.

Ignoring your slave, is ignoring your responsibility as her Master

Part time slave with a 24/7 mindset pt 1

VintageWhore 46f very part-time slave of Baywanderer

I often look at the dynamic with Master and i. I know he’s wants me to be 24/7 in devotion but only part-time in service & very part time in his life.

This can be difficult at times and hard to stay in a mindset when you’re physically seeing your Master once every 2,3 & 4 months apart. It’s usually for a few hours for fucking or punishment and back to waiting months again.

But I do it all for my Master. To be his slave.

I don’t get the opportunity to actually serve to keep commands fresh to remember protocols in Master’s home. I try to study before this time and it seemsthat everything goes out the window when I actually see and feel Master. Master also usually never gives commands to put me in a service role for him at his home.

So my question is how do you stay in a 24/7 mindset, when only given part-time attention & time?

Here are a few ways Master could help his slave out:

  • The slave needs to be regularly reminded throughout the session/ day to feel owned.
  • Ways to remind her can be subtle or obtrusive.
  • Always be assertive when communicating your orders.
  • Be consistent in practicing dominance. ( I find this very important – this one is listed two times.)
  • Never ignore her wrongdoings. Punish her accordingly every time. This is the continuation of the guideline listed before.
  • Teach your slave using positive and motivational methods. Incorporate games like hide & seek, go find, retrieve,…
  • Avoid giving commands that you know you can’t enforce. If a command is neither complied with nor enforced, your slave will learn that commands are optional.
  • One command should equal one response.
  • Use a calm and authoritative tone when giving commands.
  • Keep away from negative comments or methods after the fact; “I was going to do such and such, but never mind.” If there is something let your slave know we can do such and such if….. beforehand, never after the fact. It’s just manipulative later on.

‘Yes Master’ The same yet different

VintageWhore 46f slave to Baywanderer

It was the same words that came out of both of their mouths, but it was only one persons lips he wanted to hear the correct answer from. Those lips were not hers.

There was no “good girl” for her. Something she yearns for from her Master, because she knew he would be proud that she answered simply with “yes Master”. Something he only wanted to hear and when asked once before those weren’t the first words and she didn’t forget.

This time, this time she would nail it and answer with “yes Master”, but she was to late. He didn’t want to make her a good girl, he no longer wanted to make her his “good girl”, he didn’t want her to get it correct this time. Getting it right meant there could be no ridicule of her never learning. There could be no lecture about how she is not getting what he asks for time & time again. But damnit she did the correct procedure this time, she said the exact and correct thing this time. “Damn it” he yelled “She finally did what she had been taught to do” and he was mad about it. Mad hers were not the lips he wanted to hear this from.

He ignored and waited for her to somehow screw up because she always did. But she did not this time. She left it as it was and moved on to the next thing until he had baited her enough to respond. There it was, just what he needed to pounce and now he had a reasoning for making her less than. She was not his “good girl”, her spot has been taken.

It was the same answer from both of their lips. 🫦 One was a “good girl” while the other was not

That is until I met him……

VintageWhore f46 owned by Baywanderer

Master was pleased with my artistic night after dropping me off at home at 3am after a rare night of having his time, attention and playtime.

Exploring this great big world of kink. The protocols, the structure and the rules is something i knew i needed, but deep down i didn’t know i needed it from another person. i needed to serve, but didn’t know how deeply i needed to serve. i always thought i was a sub, and i could never be a slave to someone else. i never knew what it really was, i just knew i could never be a slave to anyone. I’m to strong of a woman to let someone control me in that manner.

That is until I met him……

When i first met Master, he instantly intrigued me, there was no conversation about being a slave or him wanting a slave or that he eventually wanted a slave and not just a sub. I would have never know this about him from our first encounter. He demanded respect and my submission, but he didn’t have to say a word. It was something that i just felt inside. I couldn’t shake it

i had never felt this before with any man previous. He was soft spoken, but firm in what he said. i was instantly wanting to know more about him. On top of never having had that feeling before, he was also a black man from Jamaica originally and I’m a white woman. i had never dated a black man before so this was new to me as well. We had a great time and a long first date. We talked the whole time and there was never a awkward silence , it all just flowed and neither was ever at a loss for words. i knew from that night i wanted him in my life. Somehow i just needed him in my life, and i wanted to be immersed in his. i had never ever in my life felt a pull so strong as I felt sitting across that table from him that night at Chevy’s on the river. I left that date with him walking me to my car, looking good and feeling strange things inside of my body, inside my head. i was leaving blown away how a man of few words had mesmerized me to the point that I felt I needed him somehow and someway to be in my life.

That ride home, all that night and into the next day all I could think of was him. A feeling of needed to be on my knees in front of him, for him. Leaving myself for him to take anytime he pleased. I was stunned that I was feeling this way deep down inside. What it would be like to serve him, to be kneeling in from of him at his feet, wanting to taste him. Was his cock as powerful as his presence was to me? I knew I needed to find out.

We had date night every Thursday for several months. Every Thursday i was his and he was mine. Submerged into each others lives, each others lust & our greed for the other. He’s was mine, mine, mine and i was his, his, his. There was no one in this world that mattered but this beautifully perfectly sexy man sitting across or next to me. The more we got to know each other the more I just wanted him to take me and make me his ‘good girl’ to have me do things to him, for him. He had me hook, line and sinker.

This went on for the first year or so. . .

The first time we were intimate he (my Master, which at the time I knew nothing about him wanting M/s and called him Sir) rented a hotel room. We showered together and Master lathered & bathed me. Slowly Sir fucked me in the shower before even heading to the bedroom for several more rounds. This was not fucking its was love making and something sexy and romantic and throw me up against the wall sex. encounter was mostly vanilla. A smack of the ass, hands in the hair and a little throat grab, which i loved every moment of that night. It was all very tame to where we’ve come. It was very romantic, but there was instruction & orders where he wanted me and what positions. It was so hot and i was so wet. Who knew being told what to do could feel so freeing and hot in make me wet kind of way. This was new to me and i needed it so badly I knew he was going to be my Dom, my Sir, my Master. With such few words he had made me his whatever he needed me to be.

He put all of his attention on me (in me too). he would not let me play with him to early he wanted tonight to last. He wanted tonight being about us and cumin together. Oh i did finally have the pleasure of tasting him, taking his juicy luscious girth cock into my hands and finally i kissed the head of his cock before my tongue ran around the head clog his cock. Tasting his cock with tongue & finally gave me permission to take him all the way into my mouth and down my throat. That was the first time of many times Master fucked my mouth. Master allowed me to take in the sweet ripe succulently mouthwatering taste of him. Tasting more delectable than i could have ever imagined. i was very pleased at his girth and how he tasted so delightful. i had been salivated, waiting for the moment i would get my first whiff of him and my first taste.. i was ahead of myself as i wanted Master to fill my mouth i needed to taste every bit of him, i needed to taste his cum. i wanted everything he could give and i wanted to swallow and rub him all over my mouth and face. I needed to show him how badly i wanted him, but even more than that was i needed him. I wanted him to see and know how much of him i needed. He needed to see my lust and my need for him to fuck my mouth, to fill my mouth. I needed him to stuff all of my holes. To take me, make me scream his name and take me as his sub. Master did just that. He took every hole and made me his obedient little slut, he had made me his sub.

i couldn’t get enough of him, couldn’t get enough of him fitting perfectly inside of me, taking every inch of my pussy as his from every position master touched every inch of what he knew now was his pussy. That first time we did it from every position we could. Again and again we came together. That is when he started training me to cum for him when he commanded. When he started training me to become his slave.

When i was collared, it was new to me. i was so flattered, intrigued and scared all at once. i was Master’s sub, but master knew I would soon become his slave.

The slave talk didn’t start for over a year. It started coming into our conversations more & more everyday. He demanded everyday we talk at noon on our lunch break for the last half hour of my lunch which was an hour. The only exception were meetings wether it was me or him, and then it moved to our next break. We talked about everything. So many questions & talks about what he eventually wanted. More and more talks about being a slave. Master would surprise me with text with ‘tasks’ to prove myself as his ones like go into the restroom and send me a pict of your pussy spread open with your fingers or with a sharpie marker inside of You so he knew it was a pict from that that day. Master always loved ‘The twins’ and want me to send a pict of my breasts to him all the time. I loved it. It was exciting and my breasts are one of my best features. No kids so they have always been perky & full just pure suckable & real. i started looking forward to these texts as it broke up my day and made my afternoons so exciting. He demanded a pict every morning with my panties i was wearing that day.

Master now had me collared, doing tasks for him and with each day that went by I became his. i called him Sir at that time. There would soon be a lot more talks and eventually an ultimatum of slave or nothing. By this point i, i had everything I ever wanted in a Dom and everything to lose if I didn’t conform to his wants. Was I willing to go against what I said I never would just to keep him?

It was then I started to learn more about being a slave, being his slave. i joined a local group on Fet for new slaves and learned so much i had no clue about. Here were these strong beautiful women who were slaves new and old, but they were nothing like I had imagined a slave would be. They were, they were so….. strong. This is where i began to see it was not at all what I had imagined. I pre judged based on a title, based on a name. Slave, but it was nothing like i had imagined or built up in my head. It still took me a little while to come to terms with all of it and to this day I struggle with some aspects. Master was very patient at first and let me have the experience of having my own journey and me making the choice wether i wanted to train under him and become his slave. i wanted Master, i wanted to be his slave, his good girl his perfect little slut. This is when i let my guard down and made myself completely vulnerable to my Master. i had let myself become his slave.

Here we are 7 years later and i am an un-collared owned slave. Say that 3 times fast. We do not live together. Master has an open relationship at anytime he chooses, as well as other slaves. I however do not have free rein if I’m allowed at all it must all go through my Master. He decides who and when i will Be playing with. Wether it’s Master, someone else with or without Master & if it’s Male or female or almost the worst no one & no toys at all. It’s usually the latter. I still stay loyal to my Master. I still try my hardest to please. Yes, there are times

This is my first & last Master/slave relationship I will have. We have been together for 7 years. Well six then had a 7 month break and now back together again for a year. It’s different this time. There is lots not there this time. I’m trying to learn the new Master as quickly as I can, but some things are lost without directions. Without consistency and without talking to not seeing each other often.

Yes we text everyday every morning to be exact as soon as I get up that is the first thing done is texting my Master. I love the ritual that each of us wants that (i think). It makes me start the day on positive note and looking forward to pleasing my Master.

Master Fuck me like i belong to You

I’m on my knees, bent forward, face pressed against the floor, my wrists bound behind my back. “My Masters” cock pounds my ass, and it feels so good to be finally being used so roughly by him again.

It’s been a couple of months since we last saw and fucked each other. Life gets in the way sometimes. We are making up for lost time.

I’ve already sucked him off; taking a deliciously large load of cum in my mouth; savouring it before swallowing it down. He repaid the compliment by fingering me to a series of forced orgasms; each one more intense and more draining than the last.

We’ve already fucked twice, the first with him on top, pounding my cunt, hitting me hard, pinning me to the bed with each thrust. Taking me. Using me. Fucking me. The second time was more leisurely; with me on top this time; riding his cock with carefree abandon, impaling myself on those wonderfully thick, hard inches. Him, content to let me do all the work. Me, happy to just let him lie back while I use his cock for my enjoyment.

I came both times; both as the rider and the ridden; both times savouring the feeling of my cunt tightening and contracting around his cock – those oh so familiar inches of him inside me that feel so different from those of my old life.

The first time, he pulled out and came all over my tits, then proceeded to rub his cum into the “girls” skin as he fingered my cunt until he elicited yet another shuddering climax. The second time, I slid off and took him in my mouth, savoring the taste of my cum on his cock as I sucked him to a climax.

We rested, cuddled, used the time to reintroduce ourselves with each others bodies. Hands exploring, stroking, caressing. Lips kissing; bodies responding.

And now, here I was, being taken again. There was none of the tenderness we’d shared earlier; this time it was raw, it was rough. It had a different kind of urgency to our earlier sexual collisions. Those had been driven from the need to be with each other, the need to feel each other, the need to use and be used by each other. This time it was driven by the need to make the most out of our remaining time. Soon, I Master would be leaving and i will be left alone to what I had done, to receive whatever punishment it was determined was appropriate for my actions, to pay the price of being alone. To perform whatever acts of contrition I felt would atone for what I was doing now and had already done.

That was still in the future, however; in the now, “my Master” was fucking me firmly and relentlessly in the ass; having declared he needed the extra tightness if he was going to be able to come once more.

As his cock pounded my ass, I urged him on. “Fuck my ass!” I cried, “Use it! Fuck it! Fuck me hard! I am your whore!”

He grabbed the restraints around my breasts and pulled sharply, lifting my head and upper body from the floor.

“My Filthy slut!” he groaned in my ear. “You love getting your ass fucked by your Master!!! Show me how deep You want masters cock Open your ass and take all of Master. Show me how much You want your Masters cock” Master his hands from the restraints so I could really take Master so deeply from behind.

“Yes!” i moaned. “I’m a filthy slut! i love the way you fuck my ass!” As i relaxed, i opened my ass to take all of my Master.

He released my wrists and let me fall forward to the floor again. Grabbing my hips, he pounded harder, his balls slapping against my cunt with every stroke.

“I’m going to come on your ass! I’m going to paint your ass cheeks with my marks & my cum!”

“Oh yes, please Master!!! Cum all over me. I want you to paint my body with your marks and cum. Paint your Masterspiece!”

The relentless pounding continued and then, suddenly, he was gone. I experienced a wrenching momentary sensation of emptiness and then the sticky warmth of his load as it landed on my skin.

My night with “my Master ” was over. My evening atoning for it with myself was still to come. I was not ready to face whatever bad things my mind would tell me why he doesn’t stay with me or give aftercare. An evening spent with “my mind” had, as it so often did, started the process of restoring a certain equilibrium within me, and now it was time for me to return to being alone to complete the process.

Writing task #3…. Education

VintageWhore 46f slave of Baywanderer

Education, education, education! I cannot stress how important it is to keep your mind active and expand your knowledge whenever possible. It is important to pay attention to what you are doing and provide exactly what Is required.

Research and write an essay on something you want to learn more of. Easy, right? Well, to help you focus, You need to spell out the word & each letter from your word you’ve choose to be a different word associated with this word/task. Start this before writing your essay.

My word and education will be on MAINTENANCE. Specifically weekly maintenance.

  • Manage
  • Advocate
  • lIvelihood
  • Nurture
  • SusTainment
  • upkEep
  • improvemeNt
  • Alimentation
  • susteNtation
  • Conserving
  • rEpair

A service provided to keep a product or property in good operating condition

Maintenance is a very important action in the BDSM world.

It’s not about “I need to go to the spa to maintain my mental clarity.” No, no, oh no it’s not about that. It is mental clarity, but not going to the spa to release stress or get that ‘serenity now’ moments

What I need in this is spankings. Letting all the negative go, the insecurities, needing to be humbled again and letting it all go.

I need those spankings that let the cry out and let it release my mind, my body and my soul. To be so vulnerable in front of your Master, there is nothing more that a single act can give You for the better. It’s opens up feelings You never knew. It opens your mind, every feeling good, bad, and ugly fly out of You. Now I understand why the spank or whip is not always in the same spot. All of these boxes inside of You need to be opened and released. The insecurities box, it opens and all kinds of things are flying out. Things I didn’t even know were insecurities, but it was in that box that exploded open. Master has to duck and dodge all of these feeling and tears. These are all necessary things in my world.

Not having these things I feel does. It bring You and your Master close. Before You disagree “Karen” hear me out.

You will never know a bigger vulnerability then letting everything go. All the good, the bad and the hidden uglies. There is nothing more vulnerable

Writing task #2: Thank You letter

VintageWhore 45f slave of Master Baywanderer

It is important that you understand and remember the importance of other people that have had an impact in your life. No matter the way in which you’ve been touched by your chosen person it is unlikely you thanked them for what they did for you. It is time to show your appreciation.

Think back to a memory of someone who made a difference in your life by showing you extra compassion or generosity, write a “thank you” letter (minimum 500 words) to them and share. It is optional whether you wish to give this person your letter

I would like to thank an old friend who was once a lover. I was a shy determined young lady and You saw so much more in me than I did in myself.

Eric Thane Phillips

I was raising a younger brother, working full time, going to school and playing tennis in college. You reminded me to laugh and to see things and not let them fly by. You had no cares, and that was all I had was cares. We couldn’t have been more opposite…. Or so I thought.

That first date was a bust and I thought that was it. I’m not into this, but the distraction from my responsibilities was much needed. You knew that before I did. Date ended and that was that. Thank You for a good time, but back to reality. You saw a different reality. Your vision board was filled with me and mine was filled with life. The only difference was you knew what You wanted and You didn’t stop. You didn’t quit going after what it was You wanted.

You didn’t quit going after what it was You wanted

Fast forward a little bit and my truck was egged, tire slashed and the rest the air was let out. Roses left on your car at the same time as mine is getting damaged. I was done with this. I was not about playing little kid games, when I had big girl responsibilities. I couldn’t allow you to come in with all your drama and throw my life into turmoil. You worked Arnell a good one and she sung your praise every chance she got. Made me see the side that didn’t fall for the roses and the things done to the blue bomber truck. You yourself washed off the egg and aired up and changed the slashed tire. You didn’t allow this situation to come in between us. Again, you knew what You wanted. Once You got my brother on your side with EVERYONE else, I caved on another date. From that date on we were inseparable.

You basically unofficially moved into my apartment and when we made it official we decided to start fresh and get a house that was ours.

I was your biggest cheerleader for the many goals & dreams You had. I also was your stylist.

I couldn’t figure out why or how You thought 4 different colors of green went together, and rocked that shit.

I was a conservative soft spoken woman, but behind closed doors I was a sponge and wanted to learn and try everything. You had experience in everything I had not. You became my teacher in some ways and my co-conspirator in 48 states. My first porn shop visit was with You. I was so embarrassed as I was worried someone would see me. Each time we went I got more and more into it. You bought me my first sex You. A mini vibrator multi pack. Man I loved that thing.

Our first time getting intimate (or so we thought or prepared for). You rented a hotel room. We went to hungry Hunter for dinner. Man i miss that place. We ended up doing extant & ended up talking and kissing all night long and talking about getting my belly button pierced. There was no sex at all. That was by far one of the best nights of my life to that point. I saw You differently. Our hopes and dreams became our mission and our reality.

We both worked our asses off and we did it to better us. There was never an ulterior motive or anyone looking out for themselves. No!!! Everything we did was done as a team for our team.

We were the couple everyone loved to hate & we were the envy of our friends.

We also had no shortage of haters, but those were all your fault. The Hood rats wanted to be with you, wanted you to save them, wanted You to take them out of the hood and to fancy dinners and places.

While I was in the hood, I was so far from a hood rat. I wasn’t afraid to work and build and i could not just sit back and watch You do it on your own.

Once You put your mind to the music business I was 1000% behind You and had your back however You needed to help You succeed. Oh how I hated working the door at shows, but I did it while You mingled and built connections.

Btw You and little E owe me lots and the interest on that You two are in debt to me for life. Free shows for life haha.

We got pregnant and did not keep it. That was the first time i truly felt alone in life. Like my partner wasn’t there for me. I was silently falling apart while we had a new baby that was not ours, but just yours we were raising. While I loved that baby with everything he was not mine, and brought memories of what I had done. I tucked those away for the greater good of our relationship. When I found out 13-14 short years later I would never have my own child You were the first person I went to. The first person I told. You were living with Heffe in east sac. I came by and just lost it on your couch. You let me, You we’re there for me. You knew exactly what I was feeling because You had your own regrets of how things were handled at that time.

Btw we would have had the cutest, most book educated street smart kid anyone would ever meet.

Who knew just 29 short years later we would still be in each other’s lives & be best friends?

Who knew I would save your life and get You to the doctors to figure it all out.

I thought my world was ending when that fucking cancer diagnosis came down. I just knew I could lose You to cancer too. The many tears I shed. Never in front of You because my job once again was to have your back and do whatever it was I needed to do to help You succeed, to win and kick cancers ass.

Eric, I thank You for chasing me and not giving up. I thank You for giving me the only experience I will ever have to be a mother. You shared your son with me and I loved him as much as I loved You. I hated his mom, but he was my baby. I truly know how Terry feels about you bc i had that with Alex. The way he would cuddle in my arms and fall asleep on my chest. I still remember and cherish those memories like it was yesterday.

When we split, it was sad, but there was never any hatred or animosity. We split things fairly and still held each other in high regards and with mad respect. No one could talk shit about You except for me. Hey i earned it. .

Because if You i got to experience things no one will ever get. Their 21st birthday being a big music show and being brought onstage.

I fucking poked Ron Jeremry’s fucking Dick like it was going to spit at me. Who else has that memory that wasn’t on camera? 🎥

Most of all You were there when I didn’t know where to turn with gene and his violence and abuse. Someday I’ll be able to tell the whole experiences, but I don’t want to relive them and haven’t come to terms with them really happening to me. If I don’t tell anyone it didn’t happen. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I don’t know how or why I called You to tell You the little tiny bit I did and You put into motion what I believe saved my life a plan to get my brothers involved and my world changed forever. Someday I’ll get me back, but you’ve let me tell, cry, blame myself to eventually blame Gene. You’ve understood my heartache and only one time had anything to say about it.

You disappear sometimes, but I know we have another 30 years and the next person in our lives is just going to have to be awesome enough to never want a friendship like ours to stop.


So thank You for all of the memories, the lessons taught and learned, the experiences and the stories. No one will ever come close to our stories. I love You with all of my heart and truly appreciate what we’ve been able to create. If we find ourselves at 60/70 still single, we need to just do what we said we would do and get married hahaha.


VintageWhore 45f slave of Baywanderer

How important is loyalty in a relationship? I say it’s huge, others do not have it high on their list.

It does suck when You place that loyalty much higher than those in a relationship with You.

Remember when my heart was always jumping out of my chest to show the world how much she loved and cherished her Master.


Remember when over 7 years ago there was an excitement and a fear of and for each other in a good way.

Remember when that text came and we were both oh so excited to see it was from You.

Remember when I was good enough for You.

Remember when You responded to texts and didn’t blame me for everything.

Remember when we talked in the phone everyday, not only expected but demanded we talk everyday at noon.

Remember when You would call me your good girl, your sexy slut, and a slew of other enduring loving names.

Remember when You told me how proud You were of me or called me your good girl.

Remember when I didn’t have to pry something nice from your cold dead lips.

Remember when Master read your blog and cared if You were writing or not.

Remember when Master had his own folder and would leave notes for You to find.

Remember when Master wanted You to learn and explore this lifestyle. Knowledge is power.

Remember when You knew there was nothing your Master would ever use against You.

Remember when You we’re allowed to be You. Flaws and all and some of them Master thought were even cute.

Remember when You would never hurt me on purpose, now it is a daily task to see how badly can I hurt her and what will she take before giving up.

Remember when your mental health struggles were off limits in your Master/slave relationship.

Remember when Master would never have used mental mind fuckery against You.

When being a slave meant something and was honored & cherished by your Master.

Remember when Master actually cared about your mental health and talked about it to overcome, instead of wanting to know about it to use it against You in punishments.

Remember when punishments came with conversations as to why, and ways to improve.

Remember when You knew why You were being punished for something that happened in real time. Instead of something that happened 13 weeks ago with no explanation. 👀

Remember when You didn’t cry yourself to sleep nightly.

Remember when You would never have thought of ending life, and now You can’t wait for it to end.

Remember when You we’re excited about tomorrows, now You just dread them.

Remember when You weren’t stood up 6 times in a row, and then 4 times so far again.

Remember when You would tell me to bring 3 of my favorite sexual toys/enhancements/accessories and 3 things I think would be Masters favorite things.

Master wanted sexy picts if You and wanted to see your panties everyday.

Remember when your Master wanted You and couldn’t wait to get You naked in the shower to bath and wash You, then fuck You in the shower to start off the marathon night of sexual exploring and pleasure for both.

Remember when your Master had sex with You without wearing a blindfold.

Remember when if your Master took picts of You, You knew beforehand & he would share them with You. Now You don’t know what he is doing with film or picts but have not consented to either.

Remember when your Master cared when You texted and would text right back, now your lucky if You hear back at all.

Remember when Master made plans and he actually followed through with them.

Remember when your Master didn’t take You life as a game and wanted to see how long it going to take before You end the game permanently.

Remember when You we’re happy and didn’t pray daily to not wake up tomorrow.

Remember when You would get flowers or texts for no reason at all. Never went a Valentine’s Day without….. until this year

Remember when your Master cared.

Remember when You didn’t think of ways to end life as a way to pass your days that you’re being ignored and silenced by your Master.

Remember when You we’re happy waking up for another day to serve your Master.

Remember when You didn’t want to die

I remember even the smallest of things.
Remember when’s turn into what if’s.

Controlled by external circumstances

My Master knows by now uncertainty makes me uncomfortable (or at least i would hope he knows that). I hate games where the risk of winning or losing is based on chance alone and I can’t do anything to modify the outcome. For me, uncertainty is anxiety.

For a long time I saw my relationship with Master as a source of uncertainty because I did not know how it would fare through hard or busy times. Do the Master and slave want the same thing out of the relationship/dynamic?

For 7 years as Master & slave I thought were solid. though we’ve been through so much in these 7 years. We were each other’s person. Each other’s person.

Well, at least that’s what I thought.

Master is my person, I am one of many of Masters person(s).

Good times disguised as bad times.

good times 

and bad times 

are so hard 

to tell apart.


feeling insignificant

makes me 

do my best.


feeling powerful

sucks out 

all my energy.

they say

happy feelings 

transforms everything.

i disagree.

trying to feel happier

matters so much more we

than actually feeling happy.

once i lose the will,

i lose all ways…


Nothing has changed with waiting. Always waiting. That pose I’ve got down and mastered it for Master. My master likes when i shut my mouth, but not physically. Leave that open to be used. At least there is one consistent thing in our dynamic.

My Home Depot trip 😈

via My Home Depot trip 😈



Well it’s been a long long time since I’ve written and so much has happened in my life.

My work closed down and now am on a different path for work.

I haven’t seen my Master in so long and it’s the holidays again I feel alone. I feel depressed, I feel empty.

My workouts stopped not long after I lost my job because I didn’t know if I could still afford them.

I’ve let myself and my home go as if I don’t care. The holidays are hard when I’m alone.

I do try and pep myself up just for work, but it seems that gets harder and harder everyday.

What has changed is my Master has been texting me in the morning first lately.

Yes, it is strange because he’s not like that. However I do love it. Master has talked to me in the phone a few times lately.

I remember when we talked everyday and I was happy. It is few and far between anymore, but I love the fact Master is trying.

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